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A violin duet that for me evokes the story of Cain being cast out of the Garden of Eden.
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| Bowman said 1187 days ago (August 9th, 2006) | |
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There you are... You’re a careful and thoughtful listener Eduard and you’re correct. Technically it’s not a duet I did place a third and darker voice in at certain moments but I still consider it more of a musical dialog. The descending arpeggio is an interesting idea that I’ll experiment with. Muchas Gracias for your helpful comments. Charlie Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| composerclark said 1186 days ago (August 10th, 2006) | |
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Moody Its got a dark, moody feel, and some interesting crunches harmonically (good!). For what it's worth, and as drakonis says, the lower instrument is a cello (section, sounds like). The 'final scream' that drakonis mentions seemed a little jarring; it seemed to come out of nowhere. I wasn't really expecting it to end there, I guess. I feel like you don't really set us up for the ending to occur when it does. There are many ways to end a piece, but they often involve changing the rate of activity (getting progressively more sparse, or more busy) and/or a contour change (having the melody wind it's way down to a mid-low note, or work it's way up to a high one). You do end on a high note, but maybe there could have been a more gradual path ascending to it (?). Just a thought. It's very static harmonically; the repeating cello pattern (mi so la) is the basis of the composition, but maybe that could have grown or moved to some other harmic areas? Again, just a thought. Nice, moody atmosphere created here. Check out my latest song called Scarlet Nightfall
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| Bowman said 1186 days ago (August 10th, 2006) | |
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Moody It's always fun to receive good marks and notices but it's of real value to receive thoughtful and constructive insights into your music. It's reason I’m here. Both you and Drakonis have spent some time thinking about Cain and I’m grateful for that. I feel like I’m getting a first class music education just from your comments. So many directions and possibilities which of course makes music infinitely beautiful, and many of which I'm sure I'll be applying to future projects. I was going for a primitive feel for Cain. A dark unyielding inevitability that for me was conveyed by the simple almost crudely repeating base line. I agree that the "scream" comes somewhat unexpectedly but sometimes a little shock is good for the soul. At least that's what I was feeling at the moment. Not trying to convince you just what was going on while I was composing it. Anyway thanks again. I always welcome feedback from you guys. All the best, Charlie Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| kristyjo said 1185 days ago (August 11th, 2006) | |
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Very somber And, yes, it does evoke the feeling of being 'cast out'. The ostinato is effective, but could possibly use some dynamic contrast, particularly coming up to the ending. (I'm thinking down to piano about two thirds through, then cres. to the end, where it would meld with the scream.) The piece is short and rather static, but would make a very good movement of a suite as it stands, possibly contrasting with other movements that are more rhythmic or spirited. Check out my latest song called What a Friend We Have in Jesus
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| Bowman said 1185 days ago (August 12th, 2006) | |
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Very somber Cain has more than some of my work here on MJ caught the attention of several talented fellow composers all of whom have fascinating suggestions as to how I might improve it. I'd like to think it's because they see some potential in it. Thank you for your kind words - the themes and subject matter are potent and I also could see it as part of a suite - and thanks for your ideas on Cain. I'll see where they take me. Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| Feter said 1184 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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passcaglia ...! ahh at last a music with scores to lsiten to ... unique style ... I love this kind of writing ... very well done very rich emotions .... !! Check out my latest song called A Night With Feter feat'(Roxylee sloparts crissew johnwhitehead and Yamin AL Yamani )
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| Bowman said 1183 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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passcaglia ...! Thanks for dropping on by Feter and thanks for the really nice things you said about this Cain. Sounds like it spoke to you and that's all I could want. Been checking out some of your stuff and I like what I hear. Take Care, Bowman Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| said 1183 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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haunting hauntingly beautiful and dark. must be given praise. |
| Bowman said 1183 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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haunting Thank you Martha I'm glad you liked Cain and welcome to Macjams. Hope to see you work up here some day. Bowman Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| Morris R said 1183 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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Very nice. I really like this. In fact, I was hoping it would go on longer! |
| Bowman said 1183 days ago (August 13th, 2006) | |
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Very nice. Thanks Mo. Always glad to hear from you. What you said about wanting it to go on longer is a fine compliment. Sometimes you can't wait for a piece to end I'm happy this wasn't the case with Cain. Take Care, Bowman Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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| echoroom said 1177 days ago (August 19th, 2006) | |
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Dark but uplifting Maybe it's just me, but altough this is sombre, I also found it kind of uplifting in places. Having read other comments, I was waiting to see what the 'scream' was - I though this worked to bring the piece to a creshendo. Overall, this is l great work, thoughtful, with a delicious sense of tension. More please. Steve Check out my latest song called Deeper (w/t Racerat)
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| Bowman said 1176 days ago (August 20th, 2006) | |
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Dark but uplifting It's interesting to read your take on "Cain" Steve. I too don't see it as strictly a dark piece but rather filled with raw emotions and surges of life that reflect something hopeful and positive. It's all subjetive but thanks for taking the time to listen, for your very kind words and for your cool take on it. Check out my latest song called The Orion Express - MJ Space Race 2009 by Bowman
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drakonis
This is a very good somber piece, that rolls along and builds to the
final scream. There's a lot of tension in the resigned march, so I can
sort of see the banishment idea. My (minor) critiques are (1) I wanted
to hear some kind of descending arpeggio after the final high note, to
give one last feeling of release/departure (2) partway into this piece
there were 3 voices, not two, so it couldn't really be played as a duet,
the pitches were too far apart for a single violinist to play both notes I
think, and (3) the LOW notes of one of those "violins" was way too low
for a violin or viola, that sounded more like a cello :-) But as far as the
music composition and quality goes, I liked it, and the strings (since
they were all legato) sounded pretty good!
ttfn,
Drakonis